Category: Uncategorized

Earlier today, I stumbled across a person asking if they were allowed to call themselves bisexual if they were also attracted to trans people — you know, a variation on the same boring query we see again and again and again. I responded with my standard boilerplate: there are plenty of trans and non-binary bisexuals,…

As a general rule, when people talk about oppression related to sexual orientation, they think about it in terms of oppression related to being in a same gender relationship (or, potentially, gender expression — drag show bans feel like one part suppression of gay culture and one part an attack on trans lives, for instance).…

So from the very beginning of this newsletter I’ve been very open about why I identify as/default to the term “bisexual” as opposed to pansexual (or polysexual or omnisexual or what have you), and why I favor the “bi+ umbrella” phrasing over the more newfangled mspec (which I think stands for something like multiamorous spectrum?).  Fundamentally, I…

When I was 17, and newly arrived in New York City, I went to Meow Mix — also known as the dyke bar that briefly appears in Chasing Amy, and regrettably, a bar that no longer exists — with a friend, I think for some 18+ femme night (yes, I had a fake ID). In the…

It is one of the great paradoxes in my life that I truly, deeply do not care about the private lives of celebrities and yet find myself constantly talking about them* because this is, regrettably, the nexus through which so many pop conversations about sex and queerness are understood. For better and for worse (usually…

So mid-last week, Gallup released the results of its 2022 LGBT identification poll. This is something Gallup does annually, and the 2022 results were not particularly striking — indeed, by Gallup’s own admission, they were functionally identical to the results from 2021 (which themselves had been striking insomuch as they saw a 2% jump in the number of Americans identifying…

I should probably begin this essay with a little bit of context about my own backstory: By the time I arrived in New York City, just three weeks shy of my seventeenth birthday, I was on my sixth city, third state, and second country. The longest I had lived anywhere was eight and a half…

1997 was a pretty big year for queer comings out. Most importantly, I came out as bi that year. But it was also the year a comedian and sitcom star named Ellen DeGeneres came out as a lesbian, which I guess was pretty significant too. All kidding aside: if you don’t remember 1997, it may…

First, the last thing I plan to say about threesomes for the foreseeable future: The problem with any Discourse™️ around bi women and MFF threesomes is that whatever way you slice it, you have a bi woman being victimized by another bi woman. If you take the side of the beleaguered and harassed potential thirds,…

As a general rule, the threesome is a fundamentally queer sex act. Certainly, there are exceptions: the most heterosexual threesome is probably the “not gay” MMF where two men simultaneously fuck the same woman while studiously avoiding all intimate contact with one another — the kind of MMF threesome you see in a lot of porn created…